Category: Living Journal
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You Never Loved Me
You never loved me but I thought you did. I thought that love hurt because there was something wrong with me. When you pulled away. Watching your attention go to others and never onto me. Every day going by without a word of encouragement from you to me. I thought you loved me. There had…
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Get Real
Let’s get real. What does that mean? Is it relative to each of us? I believe it must be. We can only be as real as our delusions and walls allow us to be. Do you find that offensive? For me to speak so directly, as if I know we all have delusions? And yet,…
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To My Boys
I am only who I am today because of you. Not in simple ways, or in little quirks, but in the most beautiful of ways. So many things have shaped my life but none have shaped it the ways you have. In ways that are so deep they shake the core of who I am.…
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Moving On
“I will move on,” I tell myself. I will be stronger for it…or will I just create walls that help me avoid and disconnect? It’s okay to hurt. To admit that I may long for lost connection. Maybe always. Accepting that a love so sweet may never be found again. And with this truth I…
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Shame and Blame
This certainly won’t be my most popular post. How could it be? In a world with instant gratification, and constant entertainment and escape. Why look within? Why heal? If I can make it through another day unaware and with a level of success that serves me, then why change? Why take a look at me,…
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The Open Door
I feel the pain. Mine and yours and everyone’s. Animals and even days where a dying plant can pull on my heart. My mind wanting to infuse life back into it. To see it thrive. To see you and her and him and us. To see it all in beauty and strength with health and…
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Avoidant
I wonder where you are right now and what is on your mind. Are you stressed or filled with joy? Are you thinking of me? Do you wonder if I’m thinking of you? I am. If you read this will you even know it is you I write about? Do you spend your days in…
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I Fell In Love
I’m driving down the road and I notice this deep stillness inside that I never felt before. The stillness is laying on a sea of joy and light. Each breath inviting in more life and each moment filled with curiosity. What is this feeling? The calm amid the storm we call life. Nothing has changed,…
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Let’s Talk About Sex
I have been dying to talk about Sex! Sex sells. Lol. Yes, it does. But why is it still such a taboo topic? I think mostly because it can be used to defile and destroy others. Because we can use it in a way that hurts and causes mental, emotional and physical illness. So many…
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Let Me Love You
I know you hurt inside. I know you stay busy so you won’t ever feel it. You keep going so your thoughts never have time to take hold of you and overcome you. Thoughts of insecurity and need. Thoughts of your desires that you don’t believe will ever be fulfilled and you won’t ever be…