I go back and forth on the idea of having an open journal with the world. It’s so vulnerable. Partially I believe that’s why I love it so much. In a world where people are increasingly unable to be vulnerable with one another. Blaming others for their own shortcomings, even judging others harshly and sometimes for things they themselves do behind closed doors. It’s a scary feeling to air my dirty laundry for the world to see, to judge. I know the world judges. People sit in a pious seat of their own bias and make harmful decisions over others. People lack discernment and grace. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t scary to share my deepest thoughts and desires.
I have been silenced by abusers my whole life. I have been made to feel less than, ashamed and unworthy. But I have seen the glimpses of what my bravery to share unashamedly with the world can do for another human. To give someone the gift of feeling they too can be brave and vulnerable, sharing a piece of them that nobody has seen before. Almost as if my bravery to be honest and raw gives them permission to do the same. It is worth all of the slander in the world to see in someone’s eyes that freedom to be themselves fully and witness their release of shame right in front of me. I don’t want to be quiet ever again.
Until next time,
Meg
