This certainly won’t be my most popular post. How could it be? In a world with instant gratification, and constant entertainment and escape. Why look within? Why heal? If I can make it through another day unaware and with a level of success that serves me, then why change? Why take a look at me, when it is so easy to look at you.
We are living in a world with so much anger and self-centeredness. We only need to open our eyes, or listen, to see and hear the things we need to change that are outside of us. The one next to me or the one next door. The one driving in front of me or standing too close behind me. How about the one not doing enough for me, or not thinking about me, lost in their own orbit?
Social media is riddled with men do this and women do that. He did this and she did that. This group of people are like this or that. So much energy, anger, resentment and judgement. Never realizing it doesn’t serve our desire, but instead perpetuates what we hate so much. We long for understanding but don’t allow ourselves to understand. We seek love and intimacy, both men and women alike, but in our pain, we hold our own love back.
Or we cling too quickly, and push the other person away, to be hurt again, still lost in the body of a person we do not know.
I watch my boys and how they fight. Hitting their brother and getting hit in return and then crying to me because they got hurt. I plead with them to see their side, while both argue endlessly it was the other. As adults, can we take an honest look? Are we doing just the same? If I am in a toxic relationship, can I really claim to have no part? I do have a part. There is a reason I chose it and remain there. This doesn’t mean it’s easy to leave or we should victim shame. Certainly not! This is only to understand that we all play a part in how our life unfolds. This in no way makes us responsible for the others behavior or even as badly in need of change as the other person.
What I’m saying is that we cannot change what is outside of us. We can only influence those that want change. If we cannot change what is outside of us, then how do we change our life in any way? The only way is to look inward. To take a step into ourselves and for us to choose change.
I think about what this world could be if we decided to love first. To see our part first. To stop waiting for others to change, and change the only one we have power over. What this world could look like if we grew strong inside ourselves and we left these situations we endlessly complain about. Or if we took the time to clear our side of things and see what is truly before us and realize we have what we always wanted but couldn’t see it. Setting clear and healthy boundaries that aren’t too thick they hold us back from connection and yet keep us safe.
Why do we fall into these extremes? Boundaries so thick they keep a wall around our heart or no boundaries at all seeking love above all else. Is it all about chemicals in our brain. Addiction to the chaos and to the pain. Highs and lows that never stop leaving us distracted and destroyed. We all have a choice as we believe the addict does. We all have the power to make a different choice within. To discover the highs that come with calm still waters. When the chaos dies, and the silence enters. When we have cleared away the baggage within our souls the silence becomes the high. The calm becomes the light we have always sought. No longer needing the chaos to block out the noise of the voice within us. We now seek to hear that voice.
We all get to choose if we believe any of what I have said is true. Reject it and continue on and receive all that you have chosen. Or choose different and take a chance and receive whatever that may bring for you.
We all have the power to choose.
Until Next Time,
Jill
