What do we talk about today? Thoughts flow but what do they want to hear I ask? What will you read? What will you come back for?
Let me take a moment to step back and change those questions. What is on my mind today? What thoughts desire to be written down? What keys do my fingers desire to tap?
We hear what we want to and take in what we allow. We have so much more control over the direction of our life then we believe. Despite having so much keeping us down we can still rise up. We can walk, not in some authentic self we don’t know or understand, but in the way we choose to in this very moment. I can choose my thoughts, my dreams, my aspirations and what steps I take today toward them. I get to choose who I let in my life and how I let people treat me.
In the midst of a world so driven by control and power with hundreds of thousands of laws for us to obey, I find myself today recognizing how many things I get to choose today. If I don’t like something about who I am then I have the power to change that. I’m positive I have been told these things my entire life. Why didn’t I hear it? Why didn’t hearing it create change for me?
I have an answer. Fear! Fear of what? Fear that if I m not a victim then I am nothing. Wow, really? Yes. All these false beliefs I have lived with that I was not even conscious of. Always holding onto the negative in my life believing I was a realist and my life was hard so how else could I perceive things? Experiencing EMDR last week allowed me to enter into my most core memories that shaped my thinking and have steered the course of my life. But even for that to work I had to be ready. Ready to face the memories and the thoughts and feelings attached to them. I had to be ready to reject what I had always known and allow it to transform into new healthy thoughts and emotions.
So here I am. Looking to continue this work. I’m 44. When I was 30 I was unmarried and childless and thought my life was over and I was too old. hahahaha. I have so much life to live. So off I go today to live it. Choosing what today will look like for me. The chores might be the same but my feelings and thoughts can be new!
Until Next Time,
Jill
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