I still hear myself saying “life’s not fair.” I lived as a victim to that phrase for my childhood and beyond. I can still say Life is not fair, but is it? Do the bad guys always win out and the good guy loses? Or is it that we don’t know how to take control of our own destiny?
My life doesn’t seem very “fair” right now. But what an understatement to the reality of what is. To say things aren’t fair is to completely undermine the wickedness of what is truly happening.
I have been learning to live in the goodness that this world has to offer. I have learned that it is a choice. But by no means does this discount or ignore that there is also great wickedness. I do believe that to discount that is to walk ignorantly.
So, what do I do when the wickedness of this world turns on me? I saddle up and get strong and face it. I don’t back down or shy away or believe in the terrible lies that creep into my own mind. The one’s that tell me “Maybe they are right about you,” “you can’t handle this just give up,” or “no one is going to believe you and in the end you will lose.” Because the truth is I know who I am today. I can let that go or I can treasure it and hold onto it for dear life. And that is what I am doing.
I will continue to wake up each day stronger and with more assurance of who I am. I will walk in it and share this me with the world, with full confidence that who I am will be seen in the end. When all odds seem to be down against me, I am understanding that the appearance of loss is only a realigning of things to work out for my good and in my favor.
A small example of this happened recently. Meaghan and I were in a city and had asked the locals where to go for breakfast. We were told to go to this amazing bagel place. We were so excited and very hungry and when we got there the line was down the street. We were certain this was the place to be. And then disappointment struck when we were told that they only took cash, and we didn’t bring any of our cash with us. Instead of getting upset and getting hangry as our stomachs were growling, we instead said “there is a better place for us to go.” And we started walking.
Just a few blocks away we smelled these delicious smells coming from another bagel shop. There weren’t any customers inside but what they had to offer appeared delicious and so we both ordered our bagels. They came out quickly and were absolutely delicious. The next morning, still determined to try the amazing bagel place that we were told to go to, we showed up to buy a bagel for our ride home. We were shocked to find ourselves eating the worst bagels we have ever had in our lives.
Sometimes we don’t get what we want in the moment and things seem to be going against us, but when we ride the waves of this life, we find that they were taking us exactly where we were meant to be.
So, this morning instead of being in shambles by my reality, I instead grow strong and keep faith that all things are working out for good and in my favor.
Today I will not let go of who I know I am and maybe on the other side of this I will discover that life is actually more than fair.
Until Next Time,
Jill
