If I could write a letter to me as a child, I know exactly what I would say. I couldn’t say these things to myself before because I didn’t know that they were true. It took a level of self-worth to grow within me through hard work and introspection to get to a place where I could see what my inner child was truly missing.
Sometimes it can be so easy to say to others “love yourself” or “know your worth,” but it’s not that simple, is it? Sometimes we need to make the hardest decisions for ourselves before a shift can happen that allows us to see our own worth. Once that worth builds then the healing can begin.
I was thinking about my boys this morning after not seeing them for four days. It’s the longest amount of time I have gone since my oldest was born without being with my boys. As I was thinking about them, it was so easy for me to think of all the things I want to instill in them. The confidence they deserve to have and self-worth and love I hope for them to embody. I was planning out all the things I would tell them this evening when I see them, when I realized that I had waited a lifetime to hear someone say these things to me. But the empowerment comes that now I get the opportunity to say them to myself! No more waiting for someone to save me and love my worth into me. Now I can do that for me!
And so I write…
A letter to me,
Hi baby girl. Words can’t express the emotions I feel when I think of you and one letter cannot incorporate and encapsulate all that is you! You are bigger than this letter but in it I will do my best to share it all with you.
You are beautiful inside and out. Your smile and laugh can light up a room. Your presence can bring peace and calm in others amid a storm. I know how powerless you feel right now but one day you will step into your power, and you are going to be unstoppable. There will be a day that no one can get in the way of your dreams coming true. And even now in this moment you already embody all that it takes to be that version of you.
You are kind and thoughtful and you care deeply how others are cared for and how they are feeling in each moment. You fall short sometimes but you always seek to do better in the next moment. Your heart for this world will drive you into a depression because you don’t have a heart for yourself. But don’t worry baby girl because a day is coming when your heart turns inward and all that love you missed you will give to yourself. When this happens it will fill you in a way that overflows around you, and you are able to give to the world what your heart has always desired.
No one is going to tell you that you can do better so I’m telling you now. Seek to improve your grades because you can. Don’t allow yourself to be average when you can do so much more! Others will tell you that you will fail and let them; but never believe them. No matter what happens, never believe them over the inner knowing that you have that you are on this earth for a reason. Don’t waste years allowing your gifts to be buried in depression and self-hatred. Being a victim of anyone or anything will never serve you! Instead, it destroys you for far too long if you allow it. Take a stand and know that you are not a victim of anyone or anything. You overcome, and you persevere, and you are strong!
So right now baby girl, I’m asking you to make a decision. Decide to stop listening to who those around you tell you that you are. Recognize right now and never forget that you get to be whoever you choose to make yourself. You are smart and athletic and kind and one day you will know your value. Live it now the best that you can and never let anyone take it from you.
I love you baby girl and from this day on I will never let you go. You are not alone.
I Love you with all of me,
Your future self.
