I’m not even sure of the direction of this very first blog post. In light of starting a podcast that covers such a broad spectrum of topics. Mental health, motherhood, woman hood, dating, sex, current world events, history, “mythology” (you’ll find out someday why I put that in quotes) and conspiracy theories, approached in the most unbiased ways we can humanly possibly take on these topics. Really these are some of the hardest and at times taboo topics to cover in depth, with deep rawness and honesty. I want to be candid, and honest to a fault with everything I speak about with all of you. I want this blog to be interchangeable with the podcast, one blog post spurring on a topic for the podcast and the podcast spurring on a whirlwind of thoughts to blog about.
With all that said, I think I know what I want to talk about today. This topic presses me today because in the last 24 hours I have gone on two dates. This specific topic is a tough one to tread, should the man pay if he is taking you out to meet for the first time? I do believe there is an unwritten expectation for a woman to assume that a man would, especially a cup of coffee! Presumptuous? Maybe it is. Let’s talk about it. Let me say this first, I have no problem paying for myself. When I go out with my girl friends we always pay our own way. I have gone out with male friends and have also paid my way and even taken the turn to pay the whole bill, especially if I was the one to invite someone out. But in the instance that a man reaches out to me online to express romantic/sexual interest in me and in order to get to know each other we go to coffee, I do expect him to pay my way. I will never assume he will, let me be clear, I stand ready and prepared to pay for my coffee or lunch. There is a natural interplay with men and women that can’t be ignored here. Now as I’m writing this I’m aware that in same gender dating I would have no idea how this dynamic and expectations interplay with one another. I would have to be in it to explain it and i just don’t have the experience and i just wanted to admit that and state that I’m not overlooking this whole other aspect to “who pays?”. But, right now I am strictly looking at men and women. Men are naturally stronger than women, they are traditionally the protector and the provider. The physiology of a man is different, his body mass produces sperm every single day, he can countlessly spread his seed among humanity theoretically. Women are born with the amount of eggs she will carry and slowly release for her whole life, she does not make anymore. We naturally need to be selective about who we mate with (although admittedly and i think i can speak for almost all women, this doesn’t always give us the ability to actually pick the best suitor for the job! haha) I believe that women innately measure up a potential mate very quickly based on a variety of different elements to him as a man. If we strictly speak about biological attractions, women love a strong, confident alpha male. There is something naturally attractive about a man that even if just on an unconscious, biological level you know he could lead, protect and provide for you. I speak for myself here but maybe other women can agree with me, it is endearing to be with a man you feel psychologically and physically safe with. These points might all sound so silly when it comes to talking about something as simple as a man covering the tab, but in all reality he absolutely doesn’t HAVE to. But i can’t deny that all of my physiology is judging you for allowing me to step in front of you and pay my way, then afterwards boldly ask me to give you my being and my body in exchange for what feels like not even placing enough value on me to pay for a drink or lunch. Think I’m just another female “using” you to get a free lunch or coffee? Everything we do is an investment, either with our time or monetarily. If you invest in a good woman your rewards will be one hundred fold to you. That’s fine sir, go on your next date jaded and see where it gets you. This brings to mind an even broader umbrella topic that this all would fall under. All the ways a man can endear a woman in a way that would make her absolutely worship your being, in and out of the bedroom, all based on how you treat her, respect and value her. This topic only hits one aspect of this! The fact is, women do need to be wooed. It takes effort and time and yes sometimes money because whether we want to admit it or not, it makes a woman feel valued when you buy her food or a drink, in a world where she has been devalued since the womb.
Until next time, Meg
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